Life Lessons

Life Lessons (my non-Jewish self) Learned From the Rabbi

A Funny Thing Happened Along the Way…

A few years ago, while on a quest for Divine inspiration, I stumbled across some sermons from a Jewish rabbi. Curious, I decided to listen to what the rabbi had to say.. and what I learned was that we are all more alike than we are different.  I also discovered that there is a lot to love about Jewish study… even for my non-Jewish self.

Now, before we get too besot about the ‘dangers’ of exploring other religions, let’s talk a little bit about the foundations of Christianity.

If you are at all familiar with the Bible, then you already know a large part of the Jewish faith.. the Tanakh.. also known as the Old Testament.  It comprises approximately the first seventy percent of the Christian Bible.

The first five Books of the Old Testament is called the Torah, and it was given to Moses at Mount Sinai along with the Ten Commandments.  The rest of the Tanakh (the Old Testament) was written later.

And while everyone is familiar with the story of Moses and the Ten Commandments, what most of us non-Jews do not know is that Moses also received another, separate, set of instructions while at Mount Sinai.. it was called the Oral Law and it is considered to be the ‘how to’ of the Torah.

As suggested by its name, the Oral Law was originally passed down from generation to generation by word of mouth.  However, after the second Temple was destroyed in 70 CE, they decided to put the Oral Law into writing to preserve it from being lost.  Over time it has developed into what is now called the Talmud.. a very interesting compilation of writings from some of the greatest Jewish sages of all time.

Rabbi Aryeh Markman tells us that in the Tanakh, the largest portion of the Bible, we find ‘what’ to do / not do, but in the Talmud we find ‘how’ to go about it.

So let’s stop for a minute and think about this in terms of our relationship with God.. because that’s the whole point to any of this in the first place, right?

Studying Talmud is said to bring you, your inner core, more in-line with God’s way of thinking and doing in the world.. it is said to prepare you for the real world.

Rabbi Markman explains it this way…  as a young man, he longed to experience all that life had to offer.  And while he had already experienced a lot, the day came when he realized that he did not have the 1,000-year life span that his wanderlust and thirst for knowledge of this world required.

And then, a funny thing happened along the way…

he literally bumped into a yeshiva, a Jewish college of studies, and was asked if he would like to study the Talmud.

Following the life-altering advice that a friend had once given him… ‘Just learn Talmud, and your existential questions will be resolved’…  he joined the group.

Rabbi Markman tells us that Talmudic knowledge is wisdom for living, and that he learned the ways of the world simply by turning from the Road of Experience onto the Highway of Understanding (that the Talmud has in endless supply, categorized and immediately available).

So how do we non-Jews relate this to our own spiritual life and relationship with God?

Well, much of the Talmud can be very anecdotal in nature… there are short stories that are told to teach a broader, more generalized concept that can then be applied to other similar situations that we may find ourselves in.  For instance, there is a story in the Talmud, told by Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananiah, that goes like this…

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On the short and long path, the city became visible.. the goal was in sight and yet, still out of reach.  Yes, the path was shorter in terms of physical proximity.. most things in life are closer when measured ‘as the crow flies’ (in a straight line from point A to point B).  But we aren’t crows, and we do not have wings to soar above all the obstacles awaiting us along that particular path of life.  So, while it might be the ‘shorter’ distance, it will also take us the ‘longer’ amount of time to get where we want to be.

And we can relate this story to many situations in life.  It can be as simple as taking the bypass… while it is three miles longer than the straight shot through town, it is still faster because the stop-and-go of congestion and traffic lights on the shorter path will take you 15 minutes longer to get where you are going.

Or it can be more profound… maybe the shortest, most direct ‘way to the top’ in corporate America is to start right off climbing the corporate ladder-of-success. However, if you take a little more time on the front end, winding around on the ground level near the bottom rung while you get a college degree or specialized training… a few years later, yeah the others might be mid-way up the ladder, but with that diploma in your hand, you get to take the elevator, landing you nearer to the top rungs while the others are still trudging along, half way to where you already are.

It is this generalize-ability of the wisdom found in the Talmud that makes it so appealing to me, personally.  It gives us sage advice and fair warning all rolled into one; we need to explore our options in life thoroughly so that we do not inadvertently wind up on a shorter, yet longer, path.

Let me share a recent experience I had to help illustrate…

I was the Manager at a local restaurant that was part of a nationally franchised brand.  Our franchise had several stores and we were growing by 2 or 3 stores a year.

A young man came to work for me… he was 20-years old and a recent high school graduate.  Now, perhaps book learning was not his strong suit. I don’t know.  But what I do know is that he had common sense and a wonderful personality.  Our customers loved him!  And he was great at sales… he figured out how to up-sell like no one else could.

One day he came to me and said… my friends just got hired at such-a-such store.  They are making $4 more an hour than me… I’m thinking about going there, too.

At that time, his two opportunities for a higher hourly rate were a nationally known big box store and a local mom and pop hardware store.

Now for sure, I did not want to lose this young man. However, if I had thought that he was going to better himself in the long run, I would have given him my best well wishes and let him go without trying to keep him.

But this is what I knew about the situation and how I explained my thoughts to him… if you stick with me and let me teach you everything I know, two years from now, you have an excellent chance to have your own store with this franchise. 

However, if you choose to chase a few more dollars an hour now, where will you be two years from now with either of those establishments?  

We all know there is not much room for advancement with a small mom and pop store… and with the large box store, you are likely to get lost in the crowd of other new employees.  But here… you shine!

Long story short, he made the right decision… he stayed.  Thank you, Talmud!

And there are other Talmudic experiences all around us. Take for instance a better known event, the story of the Waffle House hero…

A little after midnight on the morning of Sunday, April 22, 2018, complete chaos broke out at a Waffle House in a suburb of Nashville, Tennessee when an armed gunman opened fire on employees and guests. The mass shooting left four dead and several others injured… and many more would have undoubtedly died or been hurt if it were not for the heroic actions of one of the restaurant’s patrons, James Shaw, Jr.

As the gunman reloaded his weapon, Shaw tackled him, wrestled the gun away and pushed the man out of the restaurant, where he fled the scene.  The gunman hid in the woods from police, but was eventually caught and arrested.

Learning of the incident just after it happened, I sat shocked… glued to the news channel as I watched the aftermath unfold.  And I remember Shaw saying in an initial interview with a news reporter that he wanted to be clear… he was not comfortable with everyone calling him a ‘hero’ because when he rushed the shooter, he was not thinking that he needed to save the lives of the others; at that moment in time, he was only trying to save his own life… he was simply trying to stay alive.

When the reporter asked him what was going through his mind as all of that was happening, Shaw responded that it was not really like a thought process in his mind at that moment, it was more just the word ‘now’.  In a later interview on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, Shaw clarified that statement and said that he heard the words “do it now” in his head and that had spurred him into action.

After they caught the shooter and everything settled down, I was thinking about how the situation reminded me of one of my favorite portions in the Jewish Talmud… it comes from Ethics of the Fathers 1:14 where the ancient sage, Hillel the Elder, said,

At first, it was only the ‘If not now, when?’ part that resonated with me, but as I watched and listened to Shaw retell his story, I realized that the entire thing was Hillel played out in real life right there in Antioch, Tennessee…

‘If I am not for myself, who will be for me?’    Shaw realized that if he was going to survive the ordeal, he was going to have to take matters into his own hands.

‘If not now, when?’    If Shaw had not sprung into action at that precise moment, this story may well have ended very differently… not only for himself, but for many others as well.

‘But if I am only for myself, who am I?’    Soon after the incident, Shaw started a GoFundMe account to aid the victims of the shooting and their families.

I believe with all my heart that God, Himself spoke to James Shaw, Jr. on that fateful morning… at a Waffle House just south of Nashville… in the midst of complete chaos… and at the exact moment that Shaw needed to hear Him most.

And that gives me… encouragement and reassurance… comfort and Divine permission… to embrace my exploration of Judaism without hesitation or fear of religious condemnation, because…

in the wee hours of the morning on Sunday, April 22, 2018, the ancient Jewish wisdom of the Talmud connected seamlessly to a real world situation that played out in the heartland of southern Christianity… all through the word ‘now’.

And that lends proof that learning the wise teachings of the Talmud can offer us (even those of us of the non-Jewish persuasion) a deeper understanding of the quest-for-God that we all share.. and that Talmud study is indeed sanctioned by The Almighty.

Live, Love, be Grateful

Stutthof.. Nazi Germany’s first concentration camp in Poland.. where tens of thousands of Jews lost their lives.. can hardly be considered a place for celebration and gratitude. And yet, faith in God and the desire to draw near to Him can give us those feelings regardless of where we are.

Case in point.. Rabbi Yaakov Cohen tells the story of Yitty Katz…   

What an incredible story.

And only gratitude can do this.

Think about it. Can you not hear Yitty expressing emotions such as love, devotion, admiration, and many more, for his mother and grandmother… and also for his great-grandfather’s memory. Yet none of that formed this supernatural connection.

Gratitude is a bridge; it’s a connection that we build between us and the universe.. between us and our Creator.

This is a story of how Yitty and his great-grandfather’s gratitude for the gift of God’s Grace.. for the gift of the Torah.. for the gift of being Jewish.. and the gift of their faith in The Almighty.. bridged the distance and spanned across time.

Sixty years had gone by and yet these two men, standing in the exact same Jewish-emotionally-charged spot, were connected. They both felt the very same Simchat Torah joy in their inner-connection to God through the Torah. And it moved them… quite literally!

Gratitude is garnering a lot of attention lately. Over the last few years, there has been a shift in thinking about the subject of ‘thanking’.. so much so that there is now a new catch phrase… live in an Attitude of Gratitude!

Recent studies, like the Nun Study, have shown that there are many health and happiness benefits that come from developing a habit of thankfulness. It can increase happiness, improve relationships, affect your self-esteem, and reduce stress while increasing emotional resilience.  You may even experience a boost in your career because expressing gratitude on a routine basis increases productivity and helps your relationships with customers and co-workers.

These remarkable findings have led to further research and a deeper understanding of the impact that our emotions play on our physical health and life expectancy.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks tells us that what modern medicine now knows about individuals, Moses knew about nations.

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Rabbi Sacks goes on to explain that the essence of gratitude is that it recognizes that we are not the sole authors of what is good in our lives. Thankfulness has an inner connection with humility. It recognizes that what we are and what we have is due to others, and above all, due to God. 

So, how do we develop this gratitude habit?

Well, if you ask someone what they are grateful for, most people will mention the major factors in their lives… family, friends, health, career. A lot of people say grace before a meal, and we talk about how thankful we are for the blessings in our lives at our Thanksgiving gatherings.

But living in an Attitude of Gratitude is so much more than that.. it is a state of mind that enables us to notice and genuinely appreciate the ‘gift’ in the little things in life, too, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant they are.

Here’s a real life example… We were out in the cold, rainy weather yesterday. It was one of those days where the bone-chilling dampness seeps in, all the way to your core. And as soon as I got home, I immediately started the water for a hot shower.

Just the steam alone was comforting, but as soon as I stepped in and the water hit my face, I instantly felt a thousand times better and I said, “thank You” just right out loud… Thank You!

It was… Short. Simple. Succinct.  It was spontaneous and unbidden. It just flowed right out as naturally as if someone had handed me something I had asked for. But here’s the thing.. the key if you will.. I felt it first. I was so relieved and so thankful for the warmth that I gave voice to my gratitude immediately.

And that, for me, is what being in an Attitude of Gratitude means. It’s recognizing the little things that normally slip by us, and seeing them for the ‘gift’ that they are.

So, yes of course, I am so very thankful for my family, friends, food, shelter… all of those things each and every day. But that’s not what having an attitude of gratitude means. It means being aware of the smaller, positive influences we receive on a moment-to-moment basis, all throughout our day.

And so I ask you.. as life unfolds around you today, what are you grateful for?

Practicing this new attitude of gratitude will come naturally for some people, but others may need a little coaching.

So if you find that on some cold, rainy Monday morning, what you are most thankful for is your parka, umbrella, and hot coffee… We say, that’s just perfect, too!  

We Believe In You

Have you ever thought about ‘why you are here?’ Many of us do… we wonder about our purpose in this life. Some people know from an early age what their life’s passion will be, others of us struggle to figure it out.

“What can I do to add meaning to my life… how can I make a difference and impact the world around me?”

Rabbi Michael Strassfeld teaches us that even though work is our vocation, it has the potential to accomplish tikkun olam, repair of the world.

He says that the easiest way to find our purpose in life is to discover what ‘work’ brings us joy.

And many agree… the fastest, easiest way to find your purpose is to become aware of the things in your life, the activities you participate in, the experiences you have had, and the various locations you have been to that make you the happiest. When you love what you do.. where you are.. and who you are with… you can be sure that you are on the right track.

That’s because when we are truly passionate about something, time seems to disappear. It is said that Sir Isaac Newton had to be reminded to eat sometimes because he would become so engrossed in his work that he would forget.

In fact, Confucius once said,

But what if you’re not there yet? What if you hate your current job and dread going to work?

If you seem to be stuck in a world of drudgery, think back to a time when you were engaged in an activity that brought you pure joy. You may even need to travel back in time to your childhood… what were your talents and what did you dream of becoming back then?

In a recent video for aish.com, world renowned drummer and inspirational speaker, Clint Pulver, shared a perfect example…

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Sometimes our true purpose comes from a picture of our better selves that someone else sees in us before we can discover it ourselves.

And it’s even more special when someone who loves us sees our potential and believes in us.. even when we cannot.

Rabbi Akiva was one of the greatest Jewish sages of all time, but he did not start out on a path of greatness; he was once just a shepherd tending his flock in the hills of Judah.

Chabad.org tells the story…

Isn’t it amazing how the gentle nudge of someone can transport our lives into a direction that can only be called destined by God.

It would be wonderful if we all had a Mr. Jenson or a Rachel in our lives to point us to our true calling, but many of us are left to our own when trying to find our mission in life.

Rabbi Dov Heller shares that each of us is here to make a unique contribution that betters the world. He has identified a 5-step exercise to help us discover our unique contribution to the world.

In fact, Rabbi Heller cautions us to not overlook our unique contribution because we think it is not big and spectacular enough.

There is only one you… when you’re gone, your mold will never be used again. Judaism maintains that not only is it necessary for our well-being to know our unique purpose, but it is an obligation to find it and live it well.

What we have been sent here to do actually calls to us and pulls us towards it. The question is… are you listening?

So, go! Get off the couch and get active… find your bliss, speak your truth, and do what brings you Joy because you have a lot to offer.

We believe in you!   

For My Higher Good

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. When you open your eyes, repeat after me…

Things unfold as they are supposed to…

All is well…

Everything is working out for my higher good…

Only good will come from this situation… and

I am safe.

This is one of the most positive affirmations we can say, think, and feel… and starting today, it can change your life.

Jewish spirituality teacher, author, and parenting lecturer, Slovie Jungries-Wolff, shares with us how the far-reaching effects of positive versus negative thinking not only affects our view of the world, but also how we impact others.

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So how do we break this cycle?

The good news is that the opposite can be true as well. When we raise children to see the world through a ‘good eye’, it allows them to develop a positive, can-do attitude. This not only creates a harmonious and well-balanced environment, it helps children develop a more positive outlook on life and a healthier self-esteem.

Our children’s attitude development begins with us and our ability to stop dwelling on the negative and focus our attention on the positives in life.

But how do we do that?

Rabbi Kalman Packouz tells us that a positive attitude reflects a world-view that everything that happens is for the higher good. This ideology is beautifully enunciated in the common Hebrew phrase: gam zu l’tova, “This too is for the good.” and it comes from the Talmudic sage known as Nahum of Gamzu “because no matter what befell him, he would declare, ‘This too is for the good.’ ” (Taanit 21a).

We found a great illustration that goes like this…

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Rabbi Packouz reminds us that it is so very important to train ourselves to look at life’s situations in a positive way. From a Talmud point of view, all that happens in life is ultimately for the good.

God gives us opportunities for spiritual and character growth every day. And many times, what appears to be a ‘bad’ situation at first, ends up being a blessing in disguise.

In the meantime, we have invested so much time and energy into worrying or regretting, and it turns out to be all for nothing and all to our detriment… kind of like making an interest payment on a debt that never comes due.

For many of us who realize they have a negative view on the world, being positive can be a daily struggle. But isn’t this change worth it? Especially if it means that you consistently have more good days than bad and you can pass on a healthy, positive view of the world to your children and others around you.

So how do we accomplish this change in thinking patterns?

Rabbi Zelig Pliskin teaches us that to edit negative patterns into positive ones, we must change how we speak to ourselves.

First, we have to identify our negative self-talk and then make a conscious effort to change it into a positive script. Sometimes that entails reminding yourself that this is not the end of the world, this too shall pass, and identifying alternative solutions.

For instance… when you find yourself thinking something negative, stop! Stop, and look around you for something positive. Find something positive about where you are, who you are with, what you are about to do, and focus on that.. affirm it to yourself.

Another area that can have a huge impact on us is the way we think about the things we do on a routine basis, such as going to work. Instead of thinking or saying, “I have to go to work today.” change your attitude and your self-talk, and say, “I get to go to work today.”

Remind yourself… I have breath in my body, legs to stand on, arms and hands to perform my job with, clothes and shoes to wear, food to eat, and a destination that is willing to pay me money for my time and talents today… all so that I may enjoy x, y, and z in life.

Traffic is another stress inducing, negative thinking, boiling pot for many of us.

Now, there may not be much you can do about the traffic congestion itself, but there is plenty you can do differently during your commute to help you change the way you think about it.

Try some of these things to transform the drudgery of your commute into a special time for yourself instead…

Find the audio version of a book you’ve been meaning to read, but haven’t had the time. Listen to it on your drive.

Buy a special CD of relaxing music.

Use the time to make calls to family and loved ones that you are too busy to call during other times of the day.

Whatever works for you.. use it to transform your commute into a special me-time that you look forward to each day.

Change your thinking… change your life!

Second, turn your negative experiences into opportunities for growth and self-improvement. You do this by simply asking yourself questions like…

How do I change my circumstances? How can I avoid a repeat of this situation in the future? What things do I need to do, or not do, to have a more favorable outcome the next time something like this happens?

And the big one… How can I learn and grow from this experience?

Think back to an especially difficult time in your life. Now take a moment to identify some positive things that came out of that situation.

Maybe it gave you the opportunity to reconnect with someone, or it taught you how to perform a certain task. It may just be that you learned something about yourself… your personality, your fitness level, your endurance, or your breaking point.

Just the fact that you are here, reading this now, tells me that no matter how hard that period of your life was… you persevered!

The best thing you can do right now, to begin to develop a positive attitude, is to find something… anything… that you can count as a positive, direct result of that experience. And it might just be the lesson of how you will not ever allow yourself to be put in that position ever again! And that’s a start… but carry the thought all the way through… identify what it was about that experience that makes you say that.

Here’s an example… Many, many years ago, when my ex  continually handed me lemons, I decided it was time to make my own lemonade somewhere else, and I moved out.

The only thing available on such short notice was an upstairs apartment with an exterior staircase.

Now, I am deathly afraid of heights, but I am also pretty resourceful. I was in need of a place to live NOW! and so I convinced myself that I could handle the staircase for the short, three-month lease period.

Well, long story short, I was wrong.

What did I take from that nightmare experience?

I learned things about myself…

I learned that I needed to tame my tendency to be so impulsive… taking action without a plan or before weighing my options is not the best path to take.

And even though my resolve to overcome obstacles is a great trait, I learned that I must have a healthy respect for my own limitations so that I can work on them at a healthy pace rather than tossing myself into an emotional shark tank without protective gear.

I also developed a couple of new friendships while I was living there. I would not have met those individuals if I had not rented that apartment.

And in hindsight, I was able to identify the better ways that I could have handled the situation instead of the knee-jerk reaction that I had… I could have couch-surfed for a few days with a friend until a more suitable place became available. I could have even gotten a hotel room for a week to give me the space and time I needed to find an apartment.

So yes, even though the experience itself was a complete disaster…  I have friendships that came from it and personal-growth lessons that taught me things about myself.

But here’s the most important thing, the moral of my story… even though it was hard, I was still able to see God at work in my life, and I believed that my struggles were not in vain because this too was for the good.

And sure enough… I came out the other side of that summer a changed person. Looking back, I can see how the situation made me more mature, more self-confident, more grounded, more whole, and better prepared for the next time life tries to douse me with my own lemonade!

Now let’s interpret this for you and your life… for your growth.

Just take a step back and take stock of the positive things that came from your difficult situation… the new connections you made, the personal growth you experienced, and the lessons you learned.

All of these different dimensions add a measure of depth-of-experience to your new positive outlook on life.

You have the power and the ability to deal with whatever life throws at you.

Standing on the Promise that all things happen for the higher good, will give you the perspective and the confidence to know that if you stay positive, you will be able to sift through the ashes, keep what is worth salvaging, and grow into a better, stronger, healthier, more positive version of you!

Start today… start right now… always remembering…

Things unfold as they are supposed to.

All is well.

Everything is working out for my higher good.

Only good will come from this situation.

And… I am safe.

It’s one of the most positive affirmations we can say, think, and feel… but we have to believe it to receive it!

Can I Get A Do-Over?

Second chances… maybe third, fourth, or even more!

How about.. however many times it takes me to get it right. Now, that’s what I’m talking about!

Have you ever noticed that when we’re in our teens, much of our time is spent in the planning stages. We are busy laying the groundwork for what we will eventually ‘become’.

Then in our twenties, we put our plans into action and set out on our own to ‘make our mark on the world’.

Sometimes that goes well, sometimes not so much. And for that reason, many of us spend our thirties turning all that mess around!

How did I get here? And more importantly, how do I get back to where I started from… back to where I got off course?

Well, the Jewish High Holy Days are a lot like that in regards to reassessment time. Rosh Hashanah is the start of their new year, and it is a very special time indeed… as are all Jewish holidays, for that matter.

And that is because they view the passing of time differently than others do.

Rabbi Asher Resnick offers a great explanation of the uniquely Jewish perspective of time…

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Rabbi Resnick’s depiction of time reminds me of the phoenix… the bird that ages and then famously bursts into flames, only to then systematically rise from the ashes, thereby gaining a new chance at life.

Now, I know that Rosh Hashanah is not nearly as dramatic as all of that, but thinking about the phoenix in conjunction with the Jewish concept that life cycles back through seasons each year, I cannot help but wonder at the level of hope it would give the bird if he knew ahead of time that this was going to happen… that he was going to get another chance to maybe do things differently this time.  

And I wonder what preparations he would make to ensure he optimized this chance at a new beginning.

It is an interesting thought, and very relevant to the renewal opportunities presented to us by Rosh Hashanah.  

We talk about optimistic view points like this in many different ways, but one of the best that I’ve found comes from one of my favorite inspirational speakers, Sara Esther Crispe.  She once shared a story of the day that she thought her son was going to need a bit of consoling, but instead, he taught her a lesson…

Chutes and Ladders… so simple, yet so profound… who knew?  And what a wonderfully optimistic way for him to view this setback!

Optimism in the face of despair is not a new concept for us.  How many times have you heard someone say, or even said it yourself… when one door closes, another one opens.

Life is full of opportunities, but it is the ability to be open to alternative possibilities in our life that help us recognize our opportunities and receive them for what they are… especially during one of life’s downturns.

And sometimes it can be really tricky because opportunities don’t always ‘look’ the way we expect them to look.  They don’t always fit the predetermined mold that we are expecting.

So, in order to recognize the opportunities that exist around us, we must first be able to see our situation for what it is… the chance to take a new direction.

There is a popular story that people have told in different ways over the years, but the gist of it is always the same; epistle.us tells it this way…

The opportunities of life surround us always. The ‘other doors’ have always been there… it’s just that sometimes we need ours to close to prompt us to look around and discover that they exist!

So, whether you have landed on one of life’s ‘chutes’ or you are coming back into a season of opportunity that the Jewish cycle of time gives us… real opportunities to improve ourselves, and our world, abound.  We only need to be open enough to recognize that they exist and realize the potential they hold.

May we all take a lesson from the profound Rosh Hashanah wisdom we received from a young boy playing a board game… I’ve passed through this space before, and I recognize the opportunity before me! 

How Many Apples…

will your apple seed produce?

There is an old saying that goes… anyone can count the seeds in one apple, but only God can count the apples in one seed.

In 1958, Rabbi Mordechai Green was 24-years old and fresh out of Yeshiva University when he came to lead the Adas Israel Synagogue in downtown Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. It did not take the young rabbi long to realize that it was a dying shul, because all of the Jewish families were moving out to the suburbs.

Rabbi Green knew that he needed to be where his people were; he knew that he needed to do something.  So he devised a plan.

Rabbi Yaakov Cohen tells us the story…

Now… as sweet as this story is, this all came to pass because Sam Bucovetsky’s faith had taught him a couple of things.

Rabbi Noah Weinberg teaches us that everything in this world has God’s signature on it, and that in order to connect with God, we must learn to appreciate all the good He has done for us. That means giving up the illusion that you, alone, are responsible for your achievements. It’s all a gift from God. Just as every stroke of Picasso’s brush has his signature on it, everything in this world has God’s signature on it.

– Deuteronomy 10:14

So first of all, Sam was wise enough to realize that everything he had, had come to him from God.. Sam was just a pass-through.

And therefore, Sam knew that God was the actual ‘owner’ of his store. Yes, God had blessed him with it.. we could even say that God had entrusted Sam with it.. but all-in-all, Sam knew exactly what his store was.  It was a blessing from God.

Second, we see God speak of caring for widows and orphans (the fatherless), time and time again, all throughout the Scriptures.

– Isaiah 1:17

– Deuteronomy 10:14-18

– Deuteronomy 24:19-21

This is His requirement. It is our duty… and Sam Bucovetsky recognized the opportunity to be obedient.

Now, these are lessons that any of us can find in the Scriptures, but let’s look a little deeper into Sam’s story, shall we.

It’s one thing to ‘take care of your own,’ but this widow and her children were not even Jewish.  In today’s terminology, they were not from Sam’s tribe. But that didn’t matter to Sam.

And he did more than just ‘care’ for them. Sam didn’t just take her a bag of groceries every now and then.. even though that would have satisfied obedience, wouldn’t it?  Don’t we, as a society, consider the act of giving food to people in need to be a ‘caring’ gesture?

But no, Sam didn’t just do that… he told the widow, “Come into my store and take what you need.”

So when we pull all of this together and really think about it, what Sam was actually saying to her was…

As long as [ God ] owns this store… I’ve got you

because I know that… God has got me.

And that, my friend, is the true definition of faith.  It’s where the spirit of gratitude and kindness surpasses the test of obedience.

Rabbi Cohen put it this way…

In the 1920’s, Sam Bucovetsky could never have imagined how the seed he planted by helping one family was going to produce an entire thriving Jewish community.

And so I ask you, was this  …fate?  …chance?  …destiny?  

No.

We create a ripple effect everywhere we go, by our words and by our actions.  Everything we do and everything we say, affects the world around us.

Sam Bucovetsky planted a seed in the Universe… he planted a seed of gratitude and faith in obedience and kindness, and it reverberated all the way to Heaven. And God took that seed… He tended to it and nurtured it.  God watched it as it grew inside of Mr. Ahmii and He guided him as he became a little sapling, straight and tall.

And at just the right moment, God entrusted Rabbi Green with Sam’s apple seed… and God allowed it to grow roots and bloom and blossom, right back here on earth with us… and now the tree has sprung into full fruition.

It’s such a beautiful thing when we get to witness the Hand of God springing back to life on our earth today!

Rabbi Cohen concluded his message, reminding us…

Sam Bucovetsky opened his flagship store on Third Avenue, in downtown Timmins, Ontario in 1907; he went on to open a total of 8 stores throughout the region. Sam was very loved, and his kindness was well known.  Sam passed in 1941.

Rabbi Green passed more recently in Israel on July 17, 2018 at age 84; he served 44 years in the pulpit in Hamilton and an additional 16 years as rabbi emeritus.  Not only did Rabbi Green oversee the building of the new Adas Israel Synagogue in Hamilton, he went on to build a Jewish day school called Hamilton Hebrew Academy.  His son, Rabbi Daniel Green, tells how his father “never turned away a child, regardless of the family’s ability to pay.”

…..and Sam Bucovetsky’s apple seed lives on, to create a new story for another day.

Can We Forgive Evil?

On Saturday, October 27, 2018, the unthinkable happened… a deranged gunman opened fire inside The Tree of Life Synagogue in a small suburb of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, taking 11 souls and wounding several others.

CBS This Morning co-host, Bianna Golodryga, interviewed Rabbi Jeffrey Meyers, Spiritual Leader of The Tree of Life Synagogue…

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Her question and Rabbi Meyers’ answer struck me, and as so many times before, I went in search of guidance.

What does God tell us through the Torah and the Talmud about forgiveness in the face of unspeakable evil?

Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet tells us that the Mishnah states:

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You see… when we cause harm to someone, forgiveness falls under the rules of teshuva, or repentance.

Rabbi Shraga Simmons teaches us the steps involved in this process…

It is God’s will that we request forgiveness directly from the person that we hurt before forgiveness can be obtained from Him.

So in the case of murder… God does not forgive a murderer because He requires that the victim of the crime be the first to grant forgiveness of the sin against them.  When a person is murdered, they are not here to be able to grant forgiveness.

Rabbi Benjamin Blech reminds us that while there are those who believe that a God of love and of mercy would want us to extend love and mercy to everyone — even brutal murderers and terrorists — the Torah plainly shows us that God does not forgive those who do not acknowledge that they did wrong and renounce their sinful behavior.

Pointing to such examples as Adam and Eve being evicted from the Garden of Eden… Cain being condemned to wander the earth… and those of Noah’s generation who were destroyed by the flood… Rabbi Blech teaches us that God’s pardon is predicated on sincere repentance.

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Sara Yoheved Rigler, Jewish Spirituality author and international lecturer, also agrees and she explains that a Jew is not required to forgive an offender who has not undertaken the steps of teshuva such as regret and concrete change. And that forgiving unrepentant evil only encourages its continuance.

However… on the other hand, she reminds us that forgiveness is always a gift… a gift that, most importantly, we give ourselves!

Noting that nothing more quickly procures Divine forgiveness for our sins (both those we remember and those we don’t) than forgiving those who have sinned against us.

The principle of mida k’neged mida means that we get what we give.

When we stand before God, our most compelling defense is: “I have forgiven those who sinned against me. Please forgive me in turn.”

Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Every time we forgive, we open up the gates of forgiveness in the world… and we are the first ones to walk through.

Evil is the manifestation of a distressed soul.

Rabbi Blech emphatically states that not even God will forgive a killer who has not confessed his guilt and truly repented.

Now… I don’t know if God expects us to forgive this twisted soul or not, but I do know one thing is for sure…

God does expect us to find something positive, to find a point of growth, a point of genuine change, from all of this… and for us to hold firm to that so we can take it into a transformed future with us.

But how do we do that?

How can we find something… anything… about this situation that will allow us to draw closer to God, instead of pushing Him away in anger, in grief, and in all of the ‘whys?’ associated with ‘how could You let this happen?’

The answer is to be thankful for something.

It doesn’t have to be huge… we can be thankful for the strength God has given Rabbi Meyers to sustain him, allowing him to help the others heal while he, himself, is hurting inside… we can be thankful for the outpouring of love from the community, showing the families that they are not alone… perhaps the experience has drawn us closer to our own private circle, prompting us to tell them and show them more frequently how much we love them.

There are many little things that we can be thankful for, even in the face of pure unadulterated evil, and that is what provides the peace of reconciliation and the beginning of healing.

And as hard as that is, the way that we can know with certainty that God expects this of us, is because He has promised…

– Genesis 50:20 

Let’s go back there for just a moment… back to the story of Joseph and his brothers just after Jacob passed.

Twenty years earlier, Joseph had been sold into slavery by his own brothers! And one would expect that to be a hard situation to overcome… but not when God is in the midst of it all.

Rabbi Korinow interprets the exchange this way…

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You ‘meant’ it for evil against me… but God ‘designed’ it for good.

The great philosopher, Blaise Pascal, once said,

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When you are staring into the face of pure evil… a hatred that burns so intense and so all-consuming that it spurs a person to unimaginable heinous acts of violence and terror… it is hard to see God anywhere close, let alone ‘at work’ in these events.

And it’s even harder still to speak the words… never mind trying to believe… that ‘this, too, is for the good.’

Perhaps at this writing it is still too soon… the wounds are too deep, too fresh, and the emotions of our souls are too raw. Our season of weeping and rage against the injustice of it all has not yet been completed.

But it is my most fervent prayer that at some day in the future, we can look back on the events of October 27, 2018 and see them as providing the catalyst for a true paradigm shift in our world… a true and real change towards the end of violence, the end of bigotry, the end of hatred for fellow-man… a true and real change towards eternal peace on this earth that only The Almighty can bring.

We’ve touched on it in the past with ‘talk’ of how we ‘need to change,’ but nothing much has been accomplished. We have been like a cat swatting at a dangling feather… making a little attempt, but not really succeeding at any real forward movement.

Perhaps the time has come to stop giving lip service to the issues before us that are plaguing our society as a whole and get to work on some positive, forward action.

Right now, today, the opportunity for ‘real’ conversation has been opened.

But we have to remember… we all have free will, and no one will be transformed against their will.

The Messiah will not come with a magic wand and ‘poof’ the guns are gone, the hatred and violence are gone, and the world is healed and at peace… it doesn’t work like that, and we all know it.

This kind of change requires all of us to be active participants in the conversation… active participants in the transformation.

Our labor pains are just that… painful. But the time has come, the time is now!

Perhaps the best place for us to make a start is by wrapping our hearts around this message… the Torah is also called ‘The Tree of Life’, and Rabbi Eli Scheller offers us a great explanation, a metaphor, that goes like this…

The metaphor is explained in this way…

The Torah… God’s Words… are evil’s antidote!

And the opportunity is before us to make the events of October 27, 2018 be the stimulus that ignites that antidote. It is up to us to turn this unimaginable act of horror into a driving force and the glue that binds us together towards reconciliation and the end of this world’s hatred and violence.

In that way, when we look back in years to come, we will be able to plainly see God’s Promise. Even as painful as it has been… We must ensure that this too has ultimately been for the good.

The Torah… evil’s antidote.

The Tree of Life Synagogue… so aptly named.

May we all cling to this day-of-change as though it is our saving-board from a drowning ship and hold it forever in our hearts. May we all embody the genuine and positive transformation that our world so desperately needs… sparked and culminating from the events of that day… allowing the Light and the Peace of true and real change to emanate from this very spot… thereby freeing us and the rest of the world from the atrocity that unfolded there… never to be experienced again.

Amen

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